Should you set New Year's resolutions? Find out in this latest article from The Forged.
On New Year's, voices across the influencer sphere spout out the typical commands about not making New Year's resolutions. They tell you that you'll disappoint yourself. They say you'll fail and not pick it back up. They say, "Just keep doing what you're doing."
I disagree, but perhaps for different reasons than you might expect.
It's true that New Year's resolutions are fraught with shallow expectations and completely unreasonable goals. We say we're going to lose 200 lbs in a couple of months, change our diet from fast food to two pieces of broccoli a day, and we'll finally learn those 50 languages we've always dreamed of knowing.
In a fit of delusion, we write down our goals and plan to start the next day. We mention to our wives that we'll be getting up at 2:30 in the morning tomorrow to run 20 miles (we've never put on running shoes) and then hit the gym for 3 hours before work. She smirks, takes a sip of her glass of wine, and gives a subtle, "Mmhmm," before picking the next show on Netflix.
And sure enough, the alarm goes off at 2:30 am and quickly gets the swipe of death.
We wake up 5 minutes before leaving for work and hate ourselves knowing the compromise was made and any attempt to pick the dream back up is bound to fail.
So, we settle back into the doldrums of life and try to enjoy whatever small distractions from auto-pilot might happen to pop up in our days.
We may even slide into bitterness against goal-setting. We tell everyone around us that, "New Year's resolutions are harmful. We should be content with life and not try to change anything. After all, we fail and then feel worse about ourselves."
This doesn't have to be you. And it doesn't have to be your New Year's resolution result this year.
But the question is, how DO you set New Year's resolutions? And why would you?
Why Would You Set New Year's Resolutions?
Ask yourself this: Why might you want to set some goals? In reality, New Year's resolutions and goal-setting are no different. Our New Year's resolutions are goals compiled with an easily recognizable start date. The first of the year gives us a feeling of newness, fresh nature, and rebirth. It's easy to circle on the calendar and gives us a starting pistol to change things up.
It's a bit of an insult to take such an opportune time in life and say that setting goals at this time is a bad thing to approach.
Instead, let's take it for what it is. The New Year's resolution is a tool that can be used in powerful ways or be poorly applied. The quality of the product depends on the one using the tool.
Each year, we look at New Year's as a time of looking forward to the future. We celebrate the end of the old year and the entrance of the new. As we expectantly take on the month of January, we know the potential of our year. It could be the year that changes the direction of our lives.
Taking goals and adding a start date is not bad. That is the definition of a New Year's resolution. Whatever day you start to pursue your goal is a good day. Attaching it to January 1st is clean and orderly. It's easy to look back because the time you started was significant.
I'll never forget the day I stopped drinking soda. It was a Christmas party for the young adult group I was leading. That night, I chose to be done drinking stuff like Mt. Dew and Root Beer (both drinks I'll admit were borderline addictions at times.)
That was five years ago. But I remember it like it was yesterday.
Now, should I have not chosen that day because it was near a holiday and was a significant time? Should I have not set my goal of going 1 year without drinking soda because I might fail?
Not only did I hit my goal, but by the next Christmas, I saw no reason to stop. In fact, I am so grateful for that day I set out to change my lifestyle, because I have never looked back. I'm healthier and happier having not chugged gallons of sugar water day-in-day-out over the past five years. My life is better for it.
Our New Year's resolutions can be the same as what I experienced. And sometimes, it only takes a few tips to change your life.
How to Succeed with Setting New Years Resolutions
You'll be tempted to throw everything at the wall and make massive changes. You'll want to invest everything of yourself in it and shoot for the moon. Maybe you can handle that, but if you can...you're probably not reading this article anyway.
Most of us have limited willpower. We watch it start to wane as stress mounts, sleep diminishes, and the cares of the world start to fall on us. Planning accordingly with our New Year's resolutions can mean the difference between a year's worth of change and a year's worth of the same 'ole same 'ole.
Here are a few tips to succeed with your New Year's resolutions
1) Start Simple with New Years Resolutions
Getting in shape is an amazing goal. But beware of the temptation to make things complex. If you've never pursued health and fitness, then get some help. Now is the time to hire a trainer to help you make a reasonable plan and stick to it.
After all, if you've spent 40 dollars an hour three times a week on a person who has a no-refund policy, you'll be more likely to make your scheduled workouts.
But even if you're doing it on your own, you need to keep things simple. Don't try to do everything at once and don't try to make the goals or steps super complex. If you've never worked out before, just start by going for a walk every morning. Try making some chicken, rice, and veggies for yourself instead of eating out every day. Eat a couple of eggs and half a cup of oatmeal for breakfast. Throw some spinach on the scrambled eggs. Maybe some hot sauce.
It doesn't have to be outrageous. In fact, the more you approach the process of Kaizen, the better off you'll be.
If you want to get in shape, then go for a walk around the neighborhood. After you've been walking the same loop in your neighborhood for a week, do an added portion. Walk past your house, down to the stop sign, and back. The week after, do a loop and a half. A week after, you can do two loops.
You choose how fast you progress on how you feel, but there's no reason you can't make slow and steady progress over time. The compound effect will drastically change your life over a long enough timeline.
2) New Year resolutions are Lifestyle Changes
Your New Year's resolutions should be lifestyle changes, not mere objectives. We can set a goal of wanting to lose 20 lbs this year, but that's just the beginning of the resolution process. You need a plan or a method to get there.
Set your goal and then work backward on how to achieve that goal. And most importantly, refer back to Step 1 when doing this. If you don't, you'll decide that losing 20 lbs is the goal and so starvation for 3 weeks is the best way to get there.
By day two, you'll be stuffing your face with ice cream and swearing off ever-trying New Year's resolutions again.
Set the goal. Then build a plan to get there. Make the plan slower than what is comfortable. This will help you regulate the progression and will keep you more realistic about the timeline to get there.
Unfortunately, we see these videos on social media in which a person loses 150 lbs in a year. We decide that's the norm. However, they don't tell us the drugs, supplements, or shortcuts they took to do that. They may even be lying for clicks. Perhaps they say it was 150 lbs, but in reality, it was 80 lbs.
Don't compare to them, and expect to not be them. Your goal should be to enjoy the progress of the journey, not all out for the goal.
Our New Year resolutions get us into trouble because we decide the goal is the only thing that matters. These goals should shift our perspective on life and create a brand-new lifestyle for us. In a year, we should be completely different people because our day-to-day lives are completely different. Not because we took some weight loss drug and lost 50 lbs over a month period. That doesn't change us inside...it only makes us more susceptible to identity issues.
3) Set Reasonable Goals
You'll be tempted to set your goal for 200 lbs, but the question is: is that reasonable? Instead, set something that seems attainable. If you're not sure what goal to set, then break it down to weekly numbers. If you want to lose 200 lbs over a year, then that's almost 17 lbs a month. That's 4 lbs a week.
That may seem doable to you, but beware. Plateaus happen. And frankly, 1-2 lbs a week is within a healthy range. Anything more than that over a sustained amount of time and you may be running into some unhealthy habits.
4) Don't Give up on Your New Year's Resolutions
The long road can be difficult because we want a powerful transformation. In a world of instant gratification, we get discouraged easily if that New Year's resolution doesn't result in dramatic changes after a month. If the massive transformation that we witnessed in a 30-second Instagram reel doesn't happen in our lives, we believe we must be doing something wrong.
The process of building a healthy lifestyle takes a lot of time and energy. It will have its valleys and mountains that you have to muscle through. You will have days that feel like you're making no progress and days you feel like you're sailing. Don't get derailed by those down days. They're all part of the plan.
Remember, it's the days you don't want to do it that matter the most. If you can go against what you want and do what is right, then you're upholding the consistency necessary to change your lifestyle.
When you stumble on your daily habits, you need to pick them back up and keep going. That day of eating gone wrong will cause permanent damage only if you don't go back to the proper habits and lifestyle. If you let it derail you in life, then that meal was significant. If you nod your head, accept that it was a mistake, and that tomorrow will be back to the plan—then the meal will have no power over you in the long run. In fact, you'll learn a lesson you may not have.
Perseverance is everything in goal-setting. New Year's resolutions rely on perseverance.
Set New Year resolutions
There are plenty of other tips that could be useful when setting New Year's resolutions, but these are the big three. If you implement these things, you'll be surprised at how well you do in transforming your life over the following weeks and months.
Remember, it's supposed to be a life change. Act accordingly.
Take on the challenge of transforming. If you want to build deeper, longer-lasting relationships as you grow in confidence, then get our newest book, The Hidden Ones - 21 Tactics for Transformation today. Otherwise, visit The Forged to learn more about our exclusive, personal programs that help men in communities across the nation grow every day.
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