We hear the word "seasons" all the time, but do we accept what the change of seasons means?
In Ecclesiastes 3, Solomon gives sage wisdom that we typically pass off as cliché. He states in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8,
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every [a]event under heaven—
2 A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
5 A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
6 A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace.
Be careful not to skim over the passage. Read it closely. Internalize it.
While we may intellectually accept that there are times for us to laugh and times to cry, we rarely recognize when we're in the midst of the changing seasons.
Solomon's seemingly verbose explanation of times gives us deep insight into the process of the seasons.
Our actions will differ depending on the season. Solomon shows us that that's okay. We should be flexible and know what the season calls for.
But first, we need to know what seasons are.
What are Seasons?
Since the beginning of humanity, we have regarded the changing seasons as a sacred event. Our ancient festivals, celebrations, rituals, and religions all revolved around the seasons and what they bring or leave behind. In the fall, many cultures honor death, passing it to the next life, and the thin line between the physical and the spiritual. After all, winter was coming and death comes on the blowing winds of snow and cold.
Then in the Spring, cultures and civilizations would celebrate life, birth, and newness.
We as humanity understood the influence of the seasons and took special care to honor them. Mind you, we never tried to stop the changing of the seasons. We didn't set out to halt it in its tracks, or limit its effects. Instead, we embraced it and gave it the respect that such a time deserved. If it was the changing of the Fall into winter, we celebrated the harvest and hunkered down for the winter. If it was Spring, we frolicked and celebrated making it through another Winter.
If you want to benefit from the changing seasons, learn how to see the seasons change and honor the process.
Seasons are not just what we experience throughout the year but occur in every area and facet of our lives. Solomon points this out.
We have times that call for us to approach life in certain ways, and other times that might require the opposite response. In his infinite wisdom, God has given us seasons that occur from the micro to the macro. We may have a season that lasts 2 seconds and seasons that could last 20 years.
Perhaps you don't like the taste of vegetables, but they're on your plate and you know you need to eat them. Then that's a season of eating what you don't like. Yet, the steak sitting on the other side of your plate is delicious and mouth-watering. That becomes a season of eating what satisfies.
You may be in a season of working a certain career path for 20-30 years. However, the next season may be working a completely different career or living out retirement.
Whatever the seasons in your life, there are a few techniques to getting the most out of living a life of seasons.
Tips For The Seasons
1) Recognize the Season You're In
Seasons play a pivotal role in our lives. They impact every level and aspect, yet can run us over and decimate us if we don't prepare accordingly. The truth is that they'll come and go, but there are signs that we can see.
For instance: our social relationships flow in seasons. A lot of times, adults struggle to build new bonds and at the same time have lost the old bonds. The old relationships just don't feel the same and don't provide the same emotional fulfillment that they used to. However, some adults may try to hold onto those relationships because of tradition, old feelings, or a hope for the magic to return.
A person who understands seasons will take an accounting of what is going on in their life and how it relates outwards. If you have young kids and are building a family, you are in that season. Other people may align with that season, or may not. While we may not like the truth, it's unavoidable that the season we're in will dictate our decisions, relationships, and approaches to life.
Take some time with the Lord to account for the seasons you're in. This can be the difference between fighting where you're at in life and kicking against the goads, or flowing with the seasons and enjoying what the Lord brings across your table.
2) Let Go of Old Seasons
Don't celebrate last year's harvest when it's time to plant.
We struggle to let go of old seasons because we built reliance on those seasons. Let's go back to the example of social relationships.
Most of our friendships will last a season or two. We have those people who made it possible for us to make it through that phase of life. We owe them so much. They were there for us when no one else was. However, we must ask ourselves: are they what we need at this stage in our life? Are they walking the same path as us?
You may have a few friendships that last the distance of a lifetime, however those are unique and few and far between.
The Magic of Seasons
Instead of trying your best to keep the magic, allow yourself to move forward into a new season.
How many times have we watched a movie that was magical? Something about it was meant for that time and place. It changed the cultural landscape and shifted the nation in some way.
Ever notice that movie production companies try to reclaim the magic with more and more spin-offs and movies that follow? Yet, we must admit that almost every single one fails to capture the magic of the original.
They may have things done well, but they never recapture the magic of the original. This is because seasons are so often a culmination of a lot of factors that cannot be reproduced.
It's Okay to Change Seasons
Your friendships are the same. They are a culmination of a time and place, and they provide what you need in that moment. If you try to respond to a different season with the same approach, you'll find it's like shoving a square peg into a round hole. You may force it to work, but it never seems to fit right.
Instead, letting go of old seasons and allowing them to pass provides a lot of peace and satisfaction. It can feel as though a weight is lifted off your shoulders. And it is not necessarily an insult to those old friends.
I have people who changed my life for the better, yet I almost never talk to anymore. It is not because I don't like them or take advantage of them. It's not because I'm callous. It's because I only have so much bandwidth and so do they. A lot of times, it's because their life looks different and has different requirements than mine does.
When that happens, I'm filled with gratitude for what we had and what they provided in my life. I honor them and pray for their blessing. If I can catch up with them and see how they're doing, then it's an added blessing. But I don't put that requirement on myself, and neither should they. Our current relationships require our attention and focus...and we only have so much to give.
3) Learn Your Lessons
Each season brings with it valuable lessons that will prepare us for the next season. If we react to life instead of taking action with each moment, we may find that those lessons pass us by.
The lessons I learned throughout my various relationships gave me invaluable experience in becoming a better husband to my wife. The lessons I learned through various jobs gave me what I needed to be prepared for what I do today. The seasons I've been through provided powerful wisdom to pass on to others.
Each season gives us the potential of sowing and reaping. Most often, we're sowing some seeds for future seasons while reaping the fruit of what we sowed last season. It takes time for what we plant to grow, and the truth is: that those things that come to fruition result from both the good and bad sowing we did.
If we don't learn lessons from our previous seasons, then we're likely to continue sowing bad seeds which will come to fruition in the seasons to come.
Learning lessons helps us recognize what seeds are good to plant, and what takes time to grow.
Perhaps you've learned how to work out consistently. Trust me, that seed will come to fruition, but it takes time.
Perhaps you've sowed into some brotherhood. It will come to fruition and provide nourishment for you. But it takes time.
Flow With the Seasons
You're going to experience plenty of seasons in your life. Some take decades to come to a close, while other seasons may only take a few minutes. Men who understand seasons and allow them to flow carry a peace that most envy.
To become that man, you must learn to open your hand and allow the seasons to do what they do. Take action when needed, but do not hold onto old seasons. This will only create bitterness and dissatisfaction. Instead, look forward to what the Lord has planned for your life. Be grateful for what He's given and will give.
After all, it is the Lord who brings the seasons.
Take on the challenge of transforming. If you want to build deeper, longer-lasting relationships as you grow in confidence, then get our newest book, The Hidden Ones - 21 Tactics for Transformation today. Otherwise, visit The Forged to learn more about our exclusive, personal programs that help men in communities across the nation grow every day.
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